Tear Jerker (September 29)

I started to be vindictive today. To use today’s post to get back at two people who tried to tear me down. Tried to ruin my life, and ostracize me. But I decided not to, on two accounts:

1. They pushed me towards my blessing! (SAY YEAH! hah.)
2. I have too many great people in my life to highlight and focus on the few negatives.
   

So yesterday I went back to my home (and to my community) and spent some time with two people that I have known all of my natural life. One of their best friends died this week. And it was funny, not a lot of people in the community realized the depth of their relationship. I was let in on it through choir rehearsal. Yes, choir rehearsal. I found out how tight these three women were by listening to stories about them in choir rehearsal while I was in choir rehearsal. They were so close that they were like family. Although it’s not so apparent to the eye, and their relationships aren’t all buddy buddy in public, they have known each other maybe two of my life times or longer. Well one of them died this week, and I had to go back to do some work there and I knew that I would have an opportunity to sit and listen to their story; and by listening hopfully offer comfort.

And today, I couldn’t help but think about my great friends, true friendship and life long friendship. Here’s an ode to one in particular.

Bird.
Bird and I met like 7 or 8 years ago. We have become close friends. It’s funny some people are jealous of your bird. They are jealous of what you and I share. You see they’ve shared things with me but none have been able to cultivate what we have. But what they don’t understand is how we’ve worked on this for years. For one I haven’t known many people as long as I’ve known you. And we have spent quality time together. I know that I’m not the only one and I’m not jealous that you are about as good a friend to other people as you are too me. One thing that has helped us to make our friendship work is that we’ve kept it just that, a friendship. That Is rare for men and women to remain just friends like we have. We never crossed that line. The closest we’ve gone to crossing the line was you putting a hand on my thigh. Remember that day? I know you do, hilarious. But we’ve been good at remaining “Just friends.”

John Witherspoon in “Boomerang”…Smacking on his food as he eats ”Just friends huh?” ….Halle Berry and David Allan Grier in unison “Just friends!” Back to John Witherspoon again...“So Marcus… I here a girl down at the office has got you….”

I digress.

So yeah, we’ve been there for each other. Recently, I don’t know how I would’ve made it through, heck this whole year, you’ve been there for me like nobody else has or could be. You know me, and you weren’t in the community and you weren't judgmental. And even though you weren’t judgmental at the same time you didn’t let me off of the hook because we were friends. And a real friend will call you out when you’re wrong and stand there and take your anger and frustration for being called out. But if anybody needs to be called out you are the one. And that’s needed, especially for people with a Myers brig like mine. You help keep me straight. We have been through our ups and downs. Times when we weren’t talking to each other, times when we said stuff that hurt each other. But we have always made it over. Friendship always prevailed.

I think it is something about knowing somebody for who they are and agreeing to be ok with who they are in the core of their being.

Remember the time that we went swimming at your apartment complex and nuestros amigos took my nikes and my socks?

Or what about the time when we went to the Waffle shop and came out to see our cars being toed away from the blockbuster parking lot?

Or that time you were trying to remember that rap song, “You know, that Eric boy, the one that did that song with Marvin Gaye… what’s his name Eric, Eric B?” Me: ‘Bird, that was Erick Sermon.’

Let me stop there, and I just skimmed the surface. The point is I appreciate you. And I know that you will be my life long friend. There were sometimes when I thought that we were going to make it, but our friendship has proven its resiliency (that’s especially for you, you see bird doesn’t think that’s a word.) So now anybody that’s going to be in my life will have to get used to you being there. Thank you for being a friend, travel down the road and back again, you heart is true…you’re pal and a confidante, and if you threw a party, and invited everyone you know, you would see… well maybe not… but thank you for being a friend.

This blog is getting long, but let me share the card Bird gave me when I left to come to Richmond.

“Things are hard right now, but…

Trust in

yourself

to make a new beginning.
Sometimes life leads you

in a new direction.
And even when you don’t feel prepared,
or when you don’t want to change,
you are force to start over
Life is like that…there are no guarantees.
It makes you feel scared
or anxious or sad.

But after you’ve shed your
last tear –
just when you think everything
is out of your hands-
you take a deep breath
and finally realize that
you have complete control.

Survival is about reclaiming your “self”
It is about learning to love who you are.
It is about making wise choices,
setting goals,
and finding out what really
makes you happy.
It is about rediscovering those things
you always wanted to do.

Happiness is something that Has to come from within.
Nobody can provide it for you.

You are a beautiful, caring, wonderful person.
You are worthy of a all good things.
I know life is hard right now,
But please know that
I am always here for you.

This is your new beginning!
I can’t wait to see what you do!

- Claudia McCants

(*Reality TV show update, the apprentice", looks like another one bites the dusk, still on but it doesn't look good for the sister. Up, new update, whew, she made it*)

Touch (September 27)

I have a love hate relationship with Pop music. But as much as I try not to like everything the Neptunes do I can’t help it (well almost everything I can’t get with some of those non-rapping dudes they produce.) Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams make, as Jay-z says, “beautiful music.”

I was first introduced to the Neptunes, who make beats like one of the best, N-E-P, T-U-N, E-S through Nore on his “Super thug” “what, what, what, what, what, what, what.” The Neptunes have made me like Justin Timberlake “Senorita”, “Rock your Body” (that’s the song he was singing when he pulled Janet’s bra off.) No Doubt “Hella Good” and even Brandy’s brother Ray Jay awe “wait a minute” all artists I wouldn’t have listened to with out their musical production.

They have a song out now that they did for Omarion. I know I know… how can I actually invoke the name of B2K in my blog? But I like the beat. And it wasn’t until yesterday while I was on the Neptunes’ site that I realized that they produced it. I really started liking it back when I was watching “So you think you can dance” another reality show that I kind of lost track of when the big black dude got voted off. Didn't he kind of remind you of John Gray? The song is called “Touch.” Now I don’t even know the words to the song, afraid to look them up cause I might stop liking the song.

It’s funny, how I come up with this stuff.

So today’s blog is about touch.

So I wrote the paper for class. Revealed a lot of stuff about myself to myself (and my professor.) Well one of the things that came out in a discussion with my classmate was the need for touch. We can go hours, days, weeks and months without a touch. But we need it so much.

The power of touch affirms our being. It helps us to know that we are still alive. When someone touches you they engage you. It makes you feel that you are wanted and appreciated. Even a hit is a touch. We can interact with people on a daily basis and not touch them. I really believe that some have children to have something to touch and to touch them back. So many people do so many things, just so they can be touched. When’s the last time someone touched you. I don’t mean in it a sensual way, well at least not necessarily, but can you remember the last time? Not by accident, but someone intentionally touched you?

There is nothing like someone putting their hand on your shoulder, or supporting a love one on their back, rubbing the arm, caressing the face. How many people go so long with out it? I remember as a little kid before bed I would give my Mom a hug and a kiss every night. I don’t remember when I stopped, but I think I can tell you how. We probably went to bed mad one night and one night stretched in to two or three and as a little kid I probably learned how to withhold my expressions of affection. We more than likely got used to not doing it. It is so easy. It’s safer that way.

We were walking up to our rooms today and one of my classmates made a joke of giving me her cold or whatever she has, and she grabbed my shoulders from behind as if she was giving me her throat condition right then. When another classmate and I discussed it I told him it felt good, he said he could tell by my reaction. But it wasn’t something sensual. That lead into a discussion about touching and affection and the lack thereof that we both experienced in childhood. And how that can lead you to make up for it in adult life.

Working with kids I am keenly aware of that. I give out so many hugs it’s ridiculous. And even with adults. I hug and when I talk I brush a shoulder and when I shake a hand I will hold it a little longer. Yeah it gets me in trouble some times, but we need to be touched and it’s worth the trouble.

I could easily go into that Dionne Warwick song right about now, but that would be too easy. But see if it makes a difference this week. Be careful though.

(*Reality show update. A black family won’t win The Amazing Race this year. They lost on the season premiere. Their name was actually the Black family. It might be an even tougher year for minorities on reality shows when we loose on that show, all we got left is America’s next top model. BTW, who got voted off on the first week of The Apprentice? (come on you knew I was watching) The latina, but she deserved everybit of her firing*)

The memories and thoughts. (september 26)

Recently, because of this paper for the most part, I have been forced to think of some ugly things about my childhood. Things I have tried to forget. Then there are some recent things in my story that I wish I could forget, or at least not think about so much anymore. I think it’s because of what happened to me early on in life that makes my memory so vivid. I was watching “Alexander” Saturday and he said that something was like”… hurt lovers, they forgive but they never forget.” It is something about painful memories, they tend to weigh more, last longer and be more vivid than joyful memories. I’ve been trying ya’ll, really I honestly have. It’s like trying to un-ring a bell.

The memories

The painful memories come rushing into my mind like a flood and they
drown my happiness

my happiness drowns

I try to come up for air
but another wave comes
and suffocates my joy

my joy suffocates

I can’t breathe sometimes
I can’t breathe sometimes
for the memories
for the memories

I can’t breathe sometimes
for the memories

(Dang in the middle of this blog I wrote another OG piece. I was reading Sonia and Nikki last night)

Well anyway I thought I’d let the Lord speak to me. What a novel idea?

Scriptures can become stagnant and cliché if you don’t let them speak to you afresh. Here’s hoping that we can.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:4-8

What am I doing? (September 18)

Have you ever taken pause and asked yourself, “what am I doing?”

You know, like you realized the insanity of your actions, or you finally get that it’s not working. Ever come to a point when you figure out that what you have been doing just doesn’t make sense? Have you ever tried to understand what you were doing and draw a blank?

I have been there. I have done so many irrational things that fly in the face of reason lately that it’s ridiculous.

But there has been a dramatic change.

I am finally in a place that feels totally right. It was difficult to get there, and it’s hard to stay. But it’s the right place. I have this feeling that this is so right. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.

I’m not trying to make anyone mad, and tough cookies if you do get mad. But I have grown to the place where I know what fits and what doesn’t. That’s how I know I’m ready for marriage, but it’s bigger than that. I know what my values are. I know what to allow in, and what to push out. I’m not guessing anymore. Call it maturation, call it wisdom but I know now. It's kind of like that scene in the Matrix I when Neo finally sees the matrix, and sees himself.

Your freedom can be offensive to others. I will not deny reality. It is an unhealthy process.

I said something this weekend. Something I had never opened my mouth and said aloud before. Not ever. I released something that I had held for most of all of my life. It felt good. There were like two or three things in the core of my being that I had never given voice to and it felt so good. Pain in the soul released is one of the best feelings in the world.

(My momma baked a cake for me, the loved that I asked for was in it.)

Lyric of the week (week4)

You know when I was in college at howard Aquemini was one of my favorite albums, but I overlooked this song. That was until this year when I purchased it again (my cd collection has been stolen twice while parked on Sherman avenue across from the projects.) And while I was going through this year this song spoke to me. It talks about liberation. I’ll let it speak for itself. It’s kind of out there, but if you listen it to it you’ll hear what they’re saying. And now for this edition of the lyric of the week.

Liberation

Artist: Outkast (feat. Erykah Badu, Big Rube, Cee-Lo)

From their third release “Aquemini.”

There's a, and there's a
There's a, and there's a, finnne.. linnne
Too late to pray that I'm on it..
Ya, yeah, yeahhhh

[OutKast]
Y'all, uh-huh, y'all

[Andre Benjamin]
And there's a fine line between love and hate you see
Came way too late, but baby I'm on it..
And there's a fine line between love and hate you see
Came way too late, but baby I'm on it..
Can't worry bout, what a ni$$a think, now see
That's Liberation and baby I want it..
Can't worry bout, what anotha ni$$a think
Now that's Liberation and baby I want it..

[Big Boi]
(Let me hear it, let me hear it, let me hear those, let me hear those)
How many times I, sit back and contemplate
I'm fresh off the dank, but I'm tellin my story..
My relationship, with my folks is give and take
And I done took so much, not givin my glory
Now have a choice to be who you wants to be
It's left uppa to me, and my momma n'em told me (yes she did)
I said I have a choice to be who you wants to be
It's left uppa to me, and my momma n'em told me

[Cee-Lo]
No, nooo, noooooooo
I'm so tired, it's been so long - struggling, hopelessly
Seven and forty days.. heyyy
Ohhhh, I sacrifice every breath I breathe
To make you believe, I'd give my life awayyyy
Oh lord, I'm so tired, I'm so tired
My feet feel like I walked most of the road on my owwwwn
All on my owwwwn, weeeeeee..
We alive or we ain't livin, that's why I'm givin until it's gone
Cause I don't wanna be alone (I don't wanna be alone)
I don't wanna be alone.. yeahhhheeeeee
If there's anything I can say, to help you find your way
Touch your soul, make it whole, the same for you and I..
There's not a minute that goes by that I don't believe
that you die.. but I can feel it in the wind
The beginning or the end
But people keep your head to the skyyyyy

[singers in background over interlude]
Shake that load off, shake that load off [16X]

[Erykah Badu]
Folk in your face, you're a superstar
Ni$$az hang around cause of who you are
You get a lot of love cause of what you got
Say they happy for you but they really not
Sell a lot of records and you rollin in
Swoll up in the spot, now you losin friends
All you wanna do is give the world your heart
but the label tried to make you compromise your art
You make a million dollars, make a million mo'
First class probably treat you like a ni$$a po'
You wanna say "Wait!" but you're scared to ask
as your world starts spinning and it's moving fast
Try to stay sane, it's the price of fame
Spending your life trying to numb the pain
You shake that load off and sing a song
Liberate the minds, then you go on home..

[Big Rube]
I must admit, they planted a lot of things
in the brains and the veins of my strain
Makes it hard to refrain, from the host of cocaine
From them whores, from the flame
From a post in the game
Makes it hard to maintain focus
They're from the glock rounds, and lockdowns, and berries
The seeds that sow, get devoured by the same locusts
Cause it's a hard row to hoe
if you’re a$$ don't move, and the rain don't fall
And the ground just dry
But the roots are strong, so some survive
So you're surprised, now I'm bustin cries
You got more juice than Zeus
Slangin lightnin tryin to frighten
Plains dwellers, of the Serengeti
But get beheaded when you falsely dreaded
Melanin silicon and collagen injected
Dissectin my pride, fool I don't wanna get it started
We be the lionhearted, without a fantasy
It's like that red sprite, you can't imagine it
unless you lookin at the canvas of life
and not through the peephole of mortality
Single minded mentality
Gettin over on loopholes
Gettin paid two-fold on technicalities
Clickin your heels, scared to bust how you feel
Pack the steel
Pickin cotton from the killing fields with no toe
I don't think we in Kansas no mo' though
Midwest or Dirty South
Clean dressed or dirty mouth
Whether robbin preachers or killin Poor Righteous Teachers
You a scared demon
Shouldn't be allowed to spread semen
And your cowardly lies never defyin the jackals who babble
Runnin with they pack, tail between your legs
Though the man on your head say the story
As you downplay your glory
Cacklin, helpin the shacklin of your brethern happen
Just by rappin..

LIBERTAD..

There can only be one me (September 23)

(The Izod polo on, I’m so old school.)

"Back/caught you looking for the same thing/It’s a new thing/Check out this I bring." - Public Enemy (Chuck D.) “Don’t believe the hype."
Good news. The IT department at my school is working on my laptop so I should be online back online like Redman said “As long as I’m alive I’m a keep the vibe, 24-7, 365 alright.” I haven’t been able to get on the schools wireless Internet so my access has been curbed. It’s cool that the school has campus wide wireless access. But since I couldn’t get on I had to go to a three-workstation computer lab in my building to get online. And you know that’s no good for my creative flow.

But I’m on now.

So this blog thing has been going on for like three months now. Remember I spoke about blog backlash? Yeah well it’s funny. I write for me. I don’t write to respond to people. Nor to hurt anyone. Although it may happen it’s not the goal of my writing. What am I talking about? Let me explain.

So anyway, I’m in school and my first major assignment for 25% of a grade is writing a four-page biography. We’re reading a book that tells you out to write your story. “Recalling our own Stories.” It’s focus is on understanding your own problems and working through them before you can begin to help some one else in a counseling mode. The interesting theme that I’ve found in almost all of my classes is that of the myth.

Myths are our story when we mix the reality and the memory that we want to have about what happened. What we do, whether consciously or unconsciously is edit our stories. You know how this is. When you tell your side of the story. When you say what happened to you but leave out your response, or when you tell the story and tell what you wanted to say as if you actually said. When you tell what a persons motive was for dealing with you as if they said that is how it is. When we tell our stories, they are just that, our stories. Ever listened to someone tell a story of shared experience and stopped them and say you aren’t telling it right? Well when it’s my story I can’t do anything but tell it right because I have an aim, I have a slant, I have a spin that I’m telling my story from.

Some common personal myths discussed in the books first few chapters are:

• The myth of rejection
• The myth of powerlessness
• The myth of the loner
• The myth of invulnerability
• The myth of sole responsibility
• The myth of self-sacrifice
• The myth of the savior
• The myth of aloofness
• The myth of good girl
• interesting quote from this section of the book (“…To be an effective minister, she had to rediscover what was silent and give it voice.”)
  
  

Did I tell y’all that I am so made for this? I am at home. This is what I was meant to do. I am becoming a professional, and nobody can beat me at being me.

I say this to say that I’ve been getting response blogs. I mean it’s sort of like battle raps to me. (Would you believe a non-cowboy fan wrote a response to my redskins blog?)I write a rhyme and some people have written response blogs to me. My blogs are about my life. Never intended to hurt anyone or call anyone out. I shy away from too much disclosure. I don’t expose people in my blogs. I never write to hurt or defame. Battling in rap turns into beef. But I don’t have any beef with anyone. I forgive and let live. And I’m all down for self expression but to me it doesn’t seem like self expression if it’s motivated by someone else’s self expression. I actually had to shut down my 360 page for a couple of days. I know I got a little personal. I have a separate blog that I maintain that’s anonymyous (this is it yall, maybe not so anonymous now though); I may have to blog there for a while. But I feel like that old song. “Can’t nobody break my stride, can’t nobody hold me down, oh no, I got to keep on moving.”

El Presidente says it like this…

“Young'ns ice-grillin' me / oh you not feelin me? / fine, it costs you nothing pay me no mind / look, I'm on my grind cousin / ain’t got time for frontin / sensitive thugs ya'll all need hugs." Jay-Z from “heart of the city.” The chorus to the song: “Ain't no love in the heart of the city, ain’t no love in the heart of town.”

So I went to my favorite bloggers site and he has posted some rules (advice) for first time bloggers. Remember the parental advisory. He’s a little rough but good advice nonetheless.

Rules for first time bloggers from the Humanity Critic.
http://nappydiatribe.blogspot.com/2005/09/6-quick-tips-for-beginning-bloggers.h...

Enjoy!

Don't leave before the mircale happens. (September 20)

I started to turn the tv off monday night. I was sneezing and hot (from my allergies), tired (from my drive back to Richmond) and upset that the Redskins were losing. Hadn't scored a touchdown since december. I tried to call my dad and my brother, and apparenlty they had given up and turned in early. Then the mircale happened. Remember that line from "New jack city" when pookie was in rehab and he walked out? The counselor said, "don't leave before the miracle happeneds" and I didn't. I stayed through to the end with my team...and well. Words cannot express the joy I feel today. I'm worrying all cowboy fans today. I gave this sweet little old lady(65 years old in graduate school can you believe that?) the blues today in my class . I have my superbowl hat on with the three championships that Joe Gibbs won for us.

It's funny because I thought they were going to loose. I saw my barber on saturday and he told me that he was going to call me down in richmond after the Redskins loose on monday night football. Well it's 2:00 pm and I haven't heard from you Buddy. I think I'll give him and Big Mike a call...
Btw...

Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!
Run or pass and score -- we want a lot more!
Beat 'em, Swamp 'em,
Touchdown! -- Let the points soar!
Fight on, fight on 'Til you have won
Sons of Wash-ing-ton. Rah!, Rah!, Rah!

Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!
Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!

Run or pass and score -- we want a lot more!
Beat 'em, Swamp 'em,
Touchdown! -- Let the points soar!
Fight on, fight on 'Til you have won
Sons of Wash-ing-ton. Rah!, Rah!, Rah!

Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!

I know I'll probably regret it...(September 17)

And I say that because I have some great friends. And this blog admittedly has an angry tone, what was that quote about doing stuff with temper, always coming out wrong? But what’s funny about my friends is, in a way they are almost all too much like me. Introverted. They will go in shells and hide for hours, days and weeks.

But this is too much, it’s my birthday, I came back up to DC, after a long week of school and a disappointing one at work to celebrate my birthday with them. And they are almost all AWOL. It’s funny the closest ones are all known to do this, not answer the phone or return calls when they don’t want to be bothered. So here I am on my birthday weekend, thinking I was going to be celebrating at nine o’clock on Saturday. But no, what am I doing? Blogging. (But you know that's not too bad.)

What kind of stuff is that? I know I know, I’ve done it before. I’ve cut my cell phone off (well with a little help from Nextel) for weeks on my friends. I’ve actually hermit-ed myself for a total week not telling anyone I was ok. I can go turtle on them too. But I’m venting, and it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want to.

Yet and still, I think for the most part I’m a very dependable friend, and I’m not talking about them all. Love (past) interests are not included in this diatribe for obvious reasons. And of course Key is available, but I’d be bad company at this point cause I’m pissed. Maybe I wore them out with the surprise party that they either all worked on together or all showed up for. I could understand that. Maybe I am more absent than I thought. At least one of them called and apologized for not being available. But don’t tell someone you’re going to take them out for their birthday and then dip out without saying anything. Call and say I’m too tired, or I have too many other things going on. I drove 3 hours for this? I don’t care if it is your Mother’s birthday or if you were volunteering for Katrina victims! (Yeah I know I’m a selfish bunghole.) But for real they should've at least called and told me that themselves or at least answered the phone when I called. Any ways, I’m sitting here thinking about doing some neurotic stuff, some stuff that I know I shouldn’t do, all because my plans for this weekend have fallen apart.

I’m writing with a twinge (albeit small) of humor and maybe it won’t sting as much. And if this doesn’t apply to you then it doesn’t. But as I have been saying a lot since I’ve been writing this cathartic A_ _ blog, “if you wear a size nine” then it ain’t my fault.

So I hope they don’t read this, but in a way, I’m like that Lil. John Song with Krayzie Bone and Mystical… you know the one that they showed a clip from on the Dave Chappelle Show? So, the greatest lyricist of all time is going to help me tonight in expressing myself.

I’m just pissed I’m sittin in the house. I could’ve gone to my niece’s birthday party. (The only reason I'm not is because they said they wanted to hang out with me for my birthday weeks ago, and my neice's birthday party came up on thursday. I figured I've already committed to spending saturday with my friends it's not fair to break that committment) What's that thing they say about blood and water? And just think, I thought I wasn’t going to have anything to blog about this weekend..

I’m going to take you back 80’s style, even if you are mad at me you’re going to have to admit that this song was tight

(*Side note, my friends haven’t stabbed me in my back. They are certainly not jealous of me, or envious. *).

Friends
Artist: Jody Watley with Eric B. & Rakim
From her 1989 release You wanna dance with me

Have you ever been stabbed in the back
By someone you thought was really cool
Did they steal your heart or was it money
Or was it lies they told

Stran-gers just disguised as your friends
Never again cause now you know

Chorus:

That friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

Smiles they hide behind
Never know what’s on their mind
Could be true deception
Jealousy and envy reign
They never want to see you get ahead
They just hold you back

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, oh, oh

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

(RAKIM)
Friends are hard to find, so be careful
You could find an inch or mile if I pay you
But some ain’t that bad, but one might back stab
To get the fake tips of what one might have
Bite the hand that feeds you, leave the people who need you
For those who hold you back and mislead you
To be a leader, don’t get lead on unleaded
The wrong direction, a dead ends next then
Heed the detour; life’s like a seesaw
The ups and downs, and I’ll bet there'll be more
Potholes and obstacles in our path, that's righteous
At times you need a hand to fight this
Way of life, straighten up, take the door to the replace it
And don’t you act two-faced
Cause jealousy and envy, and you still act friendly
You could find the end and pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

(Rakim)
You used to me kiss me, tell me you missed me
But now you try to glaze me, play me and diss me
I'm wide-awake, ready to break, so we’d argue
What happened to the kisses, and my "how are you’s?"
Forgot about the times when I rhymed when I bathed you
Dreams was the only little things that I gave you
You still ain’t thankful, you're still complainin
Used to be a quiet storm, but now it’s rainin
Harder than ever, I’m thinkin whether
If we should be friends, let it end, is it better
To forget or remember, your body’s tender
The rhymes that I send her, makes her surrender
The feeling of capture, caught in a rapture
No woman can match ya, so when I’m lookin at ya
Paint a perfect picture so you can remember me
But you can find the end if you pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, oh, oh

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends

Happy, happy birthday baby...(September 15)

“….You say it your birthday…. It’s my birthday too…” Does anybody else remember that from “16 candles?”

It's my birthday y'all! (I know my grammar and diction bothers you but it is my blog.) Anyway, I’m posting early because once my birthday hits I don’t know if I’ll be back to it until after Friday. So here goes.

Believe it or not, I’m a simple man with simple pleasures. So when people ask me what I want for my birthday I do have a list of things I want, but I seldom believe that most want to hear it. I also wouldn’t dare be bold enough to tell them that I would love to have an iPod Nano for my birthday for instance. I would never do such a thing.

So, my pat answer has always been that I want love for my birthday. Anyone that would have a desire to spend money and actually get something for me would have to be a special person in my life of course. But to make it easy, just give any expression of love that you deem reasonable. Doesn’t that sound nice? So I have done that for years, hasn’t resulted in a whole lot of birthday gifts but I know it does one of two things.

1. It takes the birthday gift pressure off of the giver.
2. It makes you both think about the quality of relationship that you have and what you think adequately shows how you feel about them.

This year though, things are different. I really do want love for my birthday. Not that I didn’t before, but it has come to mean something different. Something more discernable. Love from a place of charity rather than obligation.

So birthday wish and lyric of the week are combined today. Earlier this year I looked at this artist in a different kind of scornful view, until I went through some things myself. It has been my experience that some of the most beautiful forms of expression come from places of pain.
My people come from places of pain. I don’t think you can identify with the African American experience and not identify with pain. The beauty that proceeds has birthed some of the greatest art forms known to man:

· Negro Spirituals
· Gospel Music
· The Blues
· Rhythm & Blues
· Jazz
· Hip Hop.

So after some pain I saw Eric Benét Differently. I purchased his CD and it was worth every penny of the $14.00. In case you don’t know his story Eric Benét and his former girlfriend had a daughter in 1992, 15 months later she died in a car crash. Fast forward to recent days, Eric Benét was married to Halle Berry. She sought divorce after Benét confessed his battles with sex addiction. It has been seven years since Eric Benét released an album. From each of his three albums there were magnificently written lyrics. ”While you were hear” (Which is about his daughter and her mother) and “True to myself” were stand outs from his debut release.

But today on my birthday (or eve of, depending when you read this.) I want to identify with Benét’s current lead single. By the way, there is no ‘you’ or ‘her’ right now.

I Wanna Be Loved
Artist: Eric Benét
From his third Album "Hurricane"

Love once left me cold and gray
I had almost reached heaven
Just to feel it slip away
But life's too short to waste away
Being scared to take chances
Or so I've heard wise men say

I wanna be loved
Faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you

I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take it's chances, just to be loved by you

Taste, touch, hear, see, feel me now girl
And you'll know I'm so ready To exchange lifelong vows, yes I am
'Cause now you've shown me how God has smiled
On this chance and this moment
For this I've prayed all my life

I wanna be loved
Faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you girl
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

(Bridge) I wanna feel there's a reason for living again
I want us to fly far away And I want my heart to sing the words only you can understand
So put your hand in mine, say a prayer tonight
So that we may find love

I wanna be loved
I want to be faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you baby
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

I want to be loved
Faithful and true I want to be loved
Ten billion lifetimes, ten zillion, ten trillion life times baby
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you
I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you

Reconciliation (September 14)

So I have been going to this church ok, and every time I go the preachers keep messing with me. Like I went one week and the preacher preached, “Don’t Blow it.” Which was basically about when in a place of success you need to not blow it? I’m sitting there like, could’ve used that message a little while ago. So I gave them another chance and then a different preacher preaches “Succeeding in New Arenas.” And here I am in new arenas in every phase of life no less than a month later. Then the pastor, who I had only heard once, was messing with me about relationships (i.e. what generated two past blogs.) Now this past Sunday took the cake, when I settled in my seat to hear the topic the same minister that preached “Don’t Blow it.” Preached “Seek Reconciliation; Reconciliation brings Restoration.” So as an attempt to catch up on Monday’s missing blog (I know you were hurt and disappointed when you saw no new blog on Monday) I will give his outline.

First off he said if it’s going to be possible, recognizing that some relationships, generally abusive ones do not need to be reconciled. But if it’s going to be possible you’ll need at least these five things:

1. Personal initiative. Hosea 3:1 God told Hosea "go again" and take his prostitute wife back. When God came to Hosea He didn’t ask whose fault it was. Somebody has to make an effort.

2. Unconditional Love. Hosea 3:1 Hosea had to love his wife, Gomer where she was, even though she was still more than likely in prostitution. It wasn’t a time to vent his frustration; it was a time to show love.

3. Sacrifice. Hosea 3:2 It may cost time, energy, a series of conversations, your pride, it may even cost your public reputation (as far as with those who know why you aren’t reconciled) But it is worth it for reconciliation.

4. Mutual understanding. Hosea 3:3 Unconditional love is not tolerating or bypassing sin. You don’t have to put up with unacceptable or intolerable behavior. And that’s on both parts, don’t agree to accept any kind of behavior from someone just to get along, and don’t promise something that you aren’t willing to do. Don’t go along just to get along.

5. Patience Hosea 3:4 It takes time and responsibility. Hosea set up some boundaries, and he knew that it would not happen over night. Don’t allow yourself to over promise and under deliver. I don’t know who this was for. But it helped me.

Restoration Week (September 13)

I owe you one. I missed Monday's blog because I've been without the internet since sunday. ( Been going through Internet & Blog withdrawal. I got the shakes.)

I'm here. I'm in Richmond, finally. Started my new job yesterday and I start my first class in a hour. I'm on overload with new things and I am the type who has to take it all in and reflect. So after reflection, I'll blog on some of my new experiences.

I'm not an overly spiritual person (I know, gross understatement or major contradiction at the least) but I'm going to let this scripture speak on how I feel this week. This has already been a special week; one of new beginnings. The Lord has been doing restoration this week. He is working on restoring EVERYTHING right now. (Say Yeah!) As one of my former co-workers would say it's a wonderful thing.

Joel 2:12-27 NRSV
12 Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; 13 rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing. 14 Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord, your God? 15 Blow the trumpet in Zion; sanctify a fast; call a solemn assembly; 16 gather the people. Sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even infants at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her canopy. 17 Between the vestibule and the altar let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep. Let them say, "Spare your people, O Lord, and do not make your heritage a mockery, a byword among the nations. Why should it be said among the peoples, "Where is their God?"
18 Then the Lord became jealous for his land, and had pity on his people. 19 In response to his people the Lord said: I am sending you grain, wine, and oil, and you will be satisfied; and I will no more make you a mockery among the nations. 20 I will remove the northern army far from you, and drive it into a parched and desolate land, its front into the eastern sea, and its rear into the western sea; its stench and foul smell will rise up. Surely he has done great things! 21 Do not fear, O soil; be glad and rejoice, for the Lord has done great things! 22 Do not fear, you animals of the field, for the pastures of the wilderness are green; the tree bears its fruit, the fig tree and vine give their full yield. 23 O children of Zion, be glad and rejoice in the Lord your God; for he has given the early rain for your vindication, he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the later rain, as before. 24 The threshing floors shall be full of grain, the vats shall overflow with wine and oil. 25 I will repay you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent against you. 26 You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame. 27 You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I, the Lord, am your God and there is no other. And my people shall never again be put to shame.

Lyric of the week (week 2)

You may have heard all of the hubbub over Karrine “Superhead” Steffans (Hey she dubbed herself that not me.) and her tell all book “Confessions of a video vixen.” Well she told all on almost everyone she was involved with, especially her husband. I bought the book and read it myself. Not here to judge, all I’ll say is that it was sad. What I do know is that there are quite a few sisters out there who can identify with Karrine’s story of a woman trading her body for self-esteem and self worth. I knew a little about that trade in my past. But I digress. Karrine was the wife of one of Hip Hop’s foremost lyricist: Kool G. Rap. (on the left in the picture) He was never really heralded as such but he was one of the best of all time.

Well this week as I’ve heard all of the talking heads (including me) drone on about race in America. One of G Rap’s shining moments came to mind. Now when I was board in high school I would write his verse down and dream of being as lyrically gifted as he. With no further adieu… Kool G. Rap in this installment of lyric of the week

(Blog reader: I though we heard lyrics from Kanye and Rakim already this week? Me: shut it.)

Erase Racism
Artist: Kool G Rap and DJ Polo (with Bizmarkie and Big Daddy Kane)
From their sophomore release Wanted - Dead or Alive

Verse One: Kool G Rap

I'm tryin hard to explore, I'm not sure
What all the racial war's for
It's makin me more sore
I walk through a colorblind corridor
Seekin, for peace in the people I'm meetin
Black white and Puerto Rican men are greetin each other
Just like brothers, there's plenty and many of others
You can discover, kids fathers and mothers
A meltin pot, no one felt they got prejudice
Listen I could never assist someone diss this
A landscape, with a dark and a light handshake
Havin fun, without one bein a fake snake
So let's form a rainbow over the mountain
And let's drink from the same water fountain
Let's make our Earth Days a story of
Men that walk through the same territories
Color or creed, is no need for a man to bleed
I believe, we all breathe the same seed
Unless it's diluted, for somethin to intrude it
Then I see the family tree was uprooted
So don't be foolish if you're Jewish or Hindu
The racial menu is the evil that men do
I was raised in a nation of Asian
Hate shouldn't separate Jamaican from Haitian
So if you're care for in your ears I hope your hear me and
Siberian's no better than Nigerians
I bring a rattle to a battle that you see me in
I'm no villain so why would I be killin Indians
My nationality's reality
And yo a prejudiced man is of a devil mentality
These are words of a wise man, wisdom
Take a taste and erase the racism

Chorus: Bizmarkie

The ink is black, the page is white
Together we learn how to read and write
People are black, got people that's white
Let's stop racism, and, let's unite

"I gotta go to class" an original piece (September 08)

More original word-smithing. Remember my Badu quote. “…I’m an artist and I’m sensitive...” Well hell I’m just sensitive period. And yeah I know it’s kind of elementary, but I gotta unleash my thoughts somehow. And it would’ve been way more boring if I just droned on about it but least this way it rhymes. You should’ve heard “truly there is no place like home.” I saved you from that.

Btw, I passed by 21 posts on my blog recently and I just wanted to say...

“I take 7 MC’s stand em all in a line.
And add 7 more brothers that think they can rhyme
Well, it’ll take 7 more before I go for mine
Now that’s 21 MC’s ate up at the same time
Easy does it, do it easy that’s what I’m doing....”

An excerpt from …

My Melody
Eric B. & Rakim.
From their 1989 Hip-hop classic & debut album “Paid in full.”

I gotta go to class.

I want to enjoy my birthday
I used to celebrate the whole week.
But I gotta go to class
And the celebration most likely will be weak.

I want to enjoy my birthday
The possibilities of this I’m unsure.
I’ve got a class on that day
and a weekend lecture.

I want to enjoy my birthday.
Yeah I’ll be hours away.
But I’ve moved from my friends
In more than one way

I want to enjoy my birthday
I might get a few calls
Some don’t know how to get a hold of me
Some I wish couldn’t, not at all.

I want to enjoy my birthday
Well that was the plan
But just like 2001 it’s behind a national tragedy
And I’m not sure if I can

Enjoy my birthday,
I wish to
even if alone
But I’m broke and as of right now
It’s a week before my birthday
And I don’t have a home.

I want to enjoy my birthday
Would do it with love
But that doesn’t seem possible
There’s none [well at least not of that kind] to speak of

I want to enjoy my birthday
They threw me a surprise party last year.
But the real surprise is
I'm not still there

I want to enjoy my birthday
And instead of having a fit
realizing how I’ve struggled to get to this point
glad I got class, on my birthday
I think I might actually enjoy it.

Full of the faith that the dark past has taught us….

….full of the hope that the present has brought us.

A Seminary buddy and I were chatting today. We were discussing race in America. Of course this was all in light of today’s present calamity. While we were in the middle of our discussion, well me half discussing and half working, a man that I have the utmost respect came by. This man has been dubbed the Godfather. He is a leader and a man that commands respect through out his community. He’s up in age but probably volunteers more effort than I get paid to give. He has seen and done a lot. He asked me how my plight was and I told him that all is well. My chatty seminary friend decided to continue our race discussion and invite him into it.

Chatter Box: I don’t know how you did it.

Godfather: Did what?

Chatter Box: Put up with the racism of the 50’s and 60’s. I couldn’t have done it.

Godfather: No, you would’ve done it. You had no choice

Godfather: I used to say to my grandmother, while she would be going to clean up at the homes of white people. “Grandma, why are you going to clean up these white peoples houses?” And she would say, “Son, I’m doing this so that one day you won’t have to.”

He went on telling us about the racism that he’s seen but more importantly that he has over come working in the federal government. How he came from Alabama to Washington and rose to a management position in spite of racism. How he dealt with racist superiors and employees. What impressed me so much is that he how he withstood without losing his cool and even won some budding racist over. “It’s in people and they breed it in others”, he told us. “But if you keep working it at it, you’ll see some change.” Now he doesn’t have e-mail and probably won’t ever read this. But he dropped something heavy on me and I sat there admiring the wisdom that he embodied.

Now I talk about race a lot but this gave me hope. That while it seems to be alive and doing well, there are still progress and advancement that can be made on a daily basis, from individual encounter to individual encounter.

Also sobering is the fact that the fight is not over. But the mere fact that my chatty friend had the feeling that she could stand up to racism now a days has something to do with a sacrifice that some one in his day made. Which means we have to fight some fights and make some sacrifices so that generations to follow will feel a little bolder and a little more empowered to change the world.

Since I’m light on words today. I know you’re saying, “If this is light then I hate to see heavy” (See Kanye part 2.) I’m going to give Kanye some shine in one of his better lyrical moments. The conversation I had today reminded me of my father and his college friends driving from Jackson TN. to Memphis to do lunch counter sit-ins in the 60’s.

(BTW he Kanye has a song that’s based off a sample from the legendary revolutionary Gill Scott Heron. Home is where the Hatred is. I used to listen to my daddy’s GSH records on 33 1/3. I had to pick up his greatest hits CD this weekend.) “I left home three days ago, I’m on my way home, and no one seems to know I’m gone, I’m on my way home… and it might not be such a bad idea if I never, never went home again.”

Never Let Me Down

Kanye West
From his 2004 debut “The College Dropout.”

[Chorus]

When it comes to being true, at least true to me

One thing I found, one thing I found

Oh no you'll neva let me down,

Get up I get (down)

Get up I get (down)

Get up I get (down)

Get up I get (down)

Get up I get (down)

Get up I get (down)

(*Note I cut out Jay-Z's and J-Ivy's verse, although they were hot, this week is about Ye*)

[Kanye West]

I get down for my grandfather who took my momma

Made her sit in that seat where white folks ain't want us to eat

At the tender age of 6 she was arrested for the sit-ins

And with that in my blood I was born to be different

Now ni$$as can't make it to ballots to chose leadership

But we can make it to Jacobs and to the dealership

That's why I hear new music and I just don't be feelin' it

Racism still alive, they just be concealin' it

But I know they don't want me in the damn club

They even make me show ID to get inside of Sam's Club

I did dirt and went to church to get my hands scrubbed

i swear i've been baptized at least 3 or 4 times

But in the land where ni$$as praise Yukon's and gettin paid

Its gon' take a lot more than coupons to get us saved

Like it take a lot more than do-rags to get your waves

Nothin' sad as that day my girl father passed away

So I promise to Mr. Rainey, I'm gonna marry your daughter

And you know I gotta thank you for they way that she was brought up

And I know that you were smiling when you seen the car I bought her

And you sent tears from heaven when you seen my car get balled up, but

I can't complain what the accident did to my left eye

Cuz look what an accident did to Left Eye

First Aaliyah, now Romeo Must Die?

I know I got angels watchin' me from the other side

Just to keep you satisfied.

Just To Keep You Satisfied Lyrics
Artist: Marvin Gaye
Album: Let's Get It On

You were my wife
My life, my hopes and dreams

For you to understand what this means
I shall explain

I stood all the jealousy
All the bitchin', too
Yes I'd forget it all
Once in bed with you

Oh darlin'
How did we end up like this?
Oh baby let me reminisce

(Ooh baby) And when we
Ooh, we stop the hands of time
You set my soul on fire
My one desire was to love you
And think of you with pride
And keep you satisfied

Oh baby, oh baby
We could not bear the mental strain

Leave you, I never meant to
Now you see how much you hurt me
But,

if you ever need me
I'll be by yor side
Though the many happy times we had
Can really never outweigh the bad

Oh, I never loved nobody
Like I love you, baby
Now it's time for us to say farewell
Farewell my darlin'
Maybe we'll meet down the line

(Ooh baby) It's too late for you and me
It's too late for you and I
Much too late for you to cry
It's too late for you and me
Much too late for you and I
It's too late for you and me
Much too late for you to cry, baby

Oh, we tried
God knows we tried
Now it's too late
To live and learn

Oh, it's too late, baby
It's too late for you and me
Much too late for you to cry
Oh It's much too late

Talking:
Oh, well
All we can do is we can both try to be happy

Bishop Jakes gives Bush "street cred?"

So after Kanye and Nagin got down on the Presidents delay and symbolic visits and fly over.

From the Washington post. And I quote….

“Bush's day-long visit to the Gulf Coast came as his administration has been struggling to fend off a torrent of criticism from local and state officials in Louisiana, members of Congress and others for what they called a lethargic federal response to the deadly hurricane. Some critics say that impression was only deepened by Bush's visit to the region last week, during which Bush seemed tentative in his comments and was kept away from some of the most dire misery spawned by the storm.

Some civil rights leaders have questioned whether the response to the storm was hindered by the fact that many of those most severely impacted are poor and black -- a charge dismissed as preposterous by federal officials. In the face of the growing denunciations, top administration officials have fired back by blaming local officials for the inadequate response to the hurricane.”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/05/AR2005090500710.html

So now the most voluminous voice of black preachers in America has been called on by the president to give him street credibility. Street cred in hip hop means that you have been certified to have kept it real and that makes what you have to say more authentic. Either you went to jail, or sold drugs, lived in the ghetto, involved your self in some sort of crime etc. It translates into acceptance and higher sales. So in the president’s case he had to get the Bishop T.D. Jakes to hang out with him as he got a couple of more steps closer to New Orleans (Bush went to a small town outside of Baton Rouge today.) He had to come back again on Monday because after his visit on Friday he endured a firestorm of criticism over the weekend, the loudest coming from Kanye West. So he had to go back.

I can imagine the president saying. “Gonna say I don’t care about black people? Wait; let me get my boy T.D. Ask T.D. if I don’t care about black people. T.D. know.”

But the thing is he couldn’t actually respond to Kanye West that would be too much like acknowledging him. That would almost be like speaking to that lady camped out on his front lawn. (Is she still there?) Or sort of like actually going down to the NAACP convention and addressing them. And we all know that would be insane for this president. So I’ll get my friend the preacher to drop in with me. Can you say photo opp part 2?

Alright, I’m going to leave your president and your preacher alone.

I just can’t understand why these busses and care packages are being sent back to their states of origin without any evacuees on them?

I briefly mentioned Jesse Jackson yesterday, he was on MSNBC, he looked like he had lost a lot of weight and just didn’t look good physically. I barely paid any attention to what he said. But there was one thing that I agreed with Jesse on. Our people in these states are not refugees. Or are they Refugees? Refugees are people who have been forced out of their homes for political and economic reasons. You know there are still some people there who refuse to leave, that are determined to stick it out in their homes. One ‘rescue’ official told a New Orleans resident that has decided to stay in his home, “You’re going to have to leave, you can’t live in this city.”

I can’t help but wonder if that was the point.

Kanye, I'm the peoples champ part 2

I was in a church service one afternoon this spring. It was a pastor’s anniversary service. The liturgical dance ministry at the church was set to perform [read “minister” for you church folk] and show their appreciation for their pastor. The group was made up of mostly young girls. And they were dancing from a CD. The CD skipped, they kept dancing. It skipped again; they picked up where they had left off. The CD kept skipping and it got to be embarrassing. The Dancers couldn’t stay on beat and didn’t know at what point start to over again from. Just at this point the man behind the keyboard grabbed the mic and said, “ya’ll go ahead and dance, we got you.”

The band had picked up the tune that they danced to and played so that they could finish. The crowd applauded and the girls danced their dance. The guest speaker, whom I accompanied to the church, followed the dance presentation. He opened with this line. “Isn’t it good, when you’re in a crisis, to hear a black man stand up and say, ”I got you”?

What does this have to do with Kanye West? Well in effect that’s what he did last Friday on no less than four NBC networks (NBC, PAX, CNBC, MSNBC.) Well at least on the East coast, the comments were censored on the west coast. Kanye told the world what we’ve all been thinking and not heard anyone dare to say so plainly. “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” (He could’ve left those last two words blank and substituted a myriad of things.) And I don’t know about you, but it does my heart well to hear a black man, with a national voice, and everything to loose, stand up and stick up for his people. Tell the highest authority figure in the nation off. And know that there will be repercussions.

Last week I was critical of the Mayor’s call for martial law. But at the time I didn’t understand his comments in context. The mayor talked about how New Orleans has been a major thoroughfare for America’s drug trafficking. Now that Katrina has decimated the city the drugs aren’t coming through and the addicts aren’t getting their fix. The mayor believes that they are the ones stealing the guns and raiding the hospitals to “take the edge off of their fix.” He wanted the troops to save the citizenry from the gun-toting addicts. It may sound crazy but he’s down there with his nose to the grind not us. The mayor said this on a midweek radio broadcast. These comments were made during an emotional tirade where mayor Nagin was so frustrated by the ineptness of the relief that he and the host both ended the interview crying. Our people are dying and you’re not moved to tears? Amongst other things, Mayor Nagin challenged the president and other federal officials to “Get up off you’re a$$ and do something.” I can imagine his disdain Friday having to stand next to the man he had just openly criticized, put on face and make nice. All while having to leave his city and his people to do a press conference in Mobile AL, instead of in his ground zero, New Orleans LA. After his statement in which he called for a moratorium on press conferences.

Now I know, you maybe saying that’s talk. But gosh darn it somebody has to say something. I mean action does speak louder than words, but if nobody sees your actions, if you represent people that don’t have a voice in America at all, then saying something is important. Especially for those of us who make our living in communications. Mayor Nagin had to say something. Just like Kanye had to say something. He couldn’t stand their helpless, losing his authority, with the notion that he is a political novice surfacing, and not say anything. The President was in New York in two days post 9/11, the aid was to the Tsunami victims halfway around the world in two days. New Orleans? On the back burner until four days after the initial hit. And the CBC kind of skirted around it. Jessie, well it just doesn’t seem as potent (no pun intended) anymore whenever Jessie speaks. The thing is that they both (Mayor Nagin & Kanye) are doing something, but the flack they are receiving now is in direct response to what they have said.

After Kanye spoke his mind wouldn’t it have been tight if Chris Tucker instead of looking dazed and confused, would’ve at least said, “He’s right, I can’t do this” and walked off? Or at least, “Kanye’s right”, and then kept reading? But no, Chris is too busy trying to get back in the good graces of White America, to get back to doing more stereotypical movies. He had too much to loose apparently to amen and or big up Kanye’s remarks. Too bad he hasn’t realized that since he’s given up his cursing and off color comedy Hollywood doesn’t have much use for Chris Tucker any more.

I’ve always noted that young black men only have a free voice in America if they speak in about three distinct ways.

1. Rapping/Singing
2. Comedy
3. Preaching

All others and even these mediums to a certain extent are heavily censored and pasteurized for the consumption of the American public.

So who do we look to? Not the free Negroes that rely on their own people to pay them and therefore aren’t completely reliant on the public opinion of White America to keep them employed. Nope, the ones who have a lot to loose put it on the line. They put it on the line for those who have lost everything, and are at risk of losing their lives as we speak. The one whose sophomore CD just debuted this week. And I hope his comments boost sells but some how I doubt it. I want to buy another copy now myself. The one that got out of the lucrative cable business to lead his people politically. The one whose people are now disbursed and fragmented. That seems to be the story of our diaspora. We always seem to be in exodus mode. The one whose constituents are going to be long-term residents of other states and cities and are almost totally at the mercy of forces beyond their control. They are the ones who spoke up, and said what we’ve been saying to the TV, instead they said it for us from the TV studio. What we’ve been saying to the radio, they said it from the radio both.

(I wrote this before I went to church yesterday and heard a call to action and not just words from the preacher.)

I’m not doing these brothers justice. So hear them in their own words basically say… I got you. The sad part is, that there is still only so much they can do…by themselves.

Kanye Cuts up (Video, windows media player)

Nagin Nuts up (Audio, mp3)

Kanye, I'm the peoples champ part 1

(Here's the picture of Bush and his photo opp on friday)

I was waiting for them to either take Kanye off of the NFL Kickoff or assassinate him before I posted today.

This is so thick it's going to take two.

So here's one, just a fly by of what happened sans my commentary.

Excerpt from Washington Post article.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/03/AR2005090300165.html?nav=hcmodule

“West and Mike Myers had been paired up to appear about halfway through the show. Their assignment: Take turns reading a script describing the breach in the levees around New Orleans.

Myers: The landscape of the city has changed dramatically, tragically and perhaps irreversibly. There is now over 25 feet of water where there was once city streets and thriving neighborhoods.

(Myers throws to West, who looked extremely nervous in his super-preppy designer rugby shirt and white pants, which is not like the arrogant West and which, in retrospect, should have been a tip-off.)

West: I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, "They're looting." You see a white family, it says, "They're looking for food." And, you know, it's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help -- with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!

(West throws back to Myers, who is looking like a guy who stopped on the tarmac to tie his shoe and got hit in the back with the 8:30 to La Guardia.)

Myers: And subtle, but in many ways even more profoundly devastating, is the lasting damage to the survivors' will to rebuild and remain in the area. The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Louisiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

(And, because Myers is apparently as dumb as his Alfalfa hair, he throws it back to West.)

West: George Bush doesn't care about black people!

(Back to Myers, now looking like the 8:30 to La Guardia turned around and caught him square between the eyes.)

Myers: Please call . . .

At which point someone at NBC News finally regained control of the joystick and cut over to Chris Tucker, who started right in with more scripted blah, blah, blah.”

NBC

In a statement, NBC said, "Kanye West departed from the scripted comments that were prepared for him, and his opinions in no way represent the views of the networks.”

The Host Matt Lauer noted that "emotions in this country right now are running very high. Sometimes that emotion is translated into inspiration, sometimes into criticism. We've heard some of that tonight. But it's still part of the American way of life."

I wonder what Pat Robertson's got to say?

**This just in, Chief Justice Rehnquist died last night. So Bush gets to appoint two justices. This is too much in one week.**

Well I will get to part two later.
Enjoy your holiday weekend, if you still can.