Thanksgiving on the beach

Sunset @ N. Myrtle Beach

Sound Advice

I had been seeking advice recently. I have received some of the greatest from my friend Jewel and one of my yet blogged about prof’s, Russ Truman. But they all were just a more intricate and complicated version of what My father had already had given me.

So in reflection I have to be thankful, so very thankful that I have the voice of my father to guide me. Not only have I had it for all of my life, right there in the room across the hall from me, but I still have it. He even made the rare move of calling me today to check if I needed his help. I can’t expressed how blessed I am.

So on with the Advice right? Without even knowing what it was I was dealing with my dad’s advice has stood the test and proved to be the best piece of advice yet.

When making a decision:

“Don’t let anyone outside of yourself make your decision for you.”
"Take your time making your decisions.”

And of course his over all advice for any situation:

”Always go with your first mind.”

So after talking to Professor Truman tonight one thing he said triggered a childhood memory. It was this song.

He’s got the whole world in His hands.

He´s got the whole world in His hands,
He´s got the whole world in His hands,
He´s got the whole world in His hands.

He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands,
He´s got the wind and the rain in His hands,
He´s got the whole world in His hands.

He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands,
He´s got the the tiny little baby in His hands,
He´s got the whole world in His hands.

He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands,
He´s got you and me, brother, in His hands,
He´s got the whole world in His hands.

Dr Hoabs, at it again.

Dr. Hoabs Never ever let’s me down. We had another meeting with him Friday. One classmate is working with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. When Dr. Hoabs asked about her experience she relayed how it’s just getting off of the ground in Richmond and that they were even having problem finding space. Dr. Hoabs asked “tell me what you are learning?” She talked about seeing the difficulties in building from the ground up in a new town. Dr. Hoabs says, “Well I thought you were going to tell me that you are having problems getting office space because people don’t believe that breast cancer is a problem, as prominent and marvelous as women’s breast are.” Huh? Then he started to rip into my verbatim. He said I don’t want to injure my brother, I told him…”I can take it” Dr. Hoabs “Can you?” So then he told me it was scant and not verbose enough. That we need to take our training seriously and that we need to be able to write more words and to write better, and he’s looking for more pages, “I’m looking for you to write 20 but I’m only going to read 2. I want you to give an effort that gives me more pages. He went on telling us of his graduate school experience and how it was that he hung around the school at first because they wouldn’t admit him, so he “Played pea knuckle here, bid Whist across the street.” And how he was more about chasing girls and he was so much older than the students that he started looking at the teachers and saying…”Hey I might be able to get this ‘A’ another way.” Dr. Hoabs is my man though, I love how he is unashamed about being himself. Even though he goes on what seems like a tangent he’s always coherent. Well what proceeded was some sound career advice and some innuendo that seemed to be directed towards one of my class mates, so I’ll leave the rest alone. Just another example of how one of my favorite prof’s never lets me down. I started to use this story as a segue into how people will constantly compare themselves to others, but it’s going to take a two-parter that I’ll have to start sometime later.

Anticipation (November 17)

This following excerpt came from a book that I read a few years back. The word and the story have stuck with me since I first read it ; and you know I like to share goodness. Fred Craddock gives this example of a necessary component of any oratory statement. “Near the end of his life, Carl Sandburg, historian, poet and entertainer, was asked by a reporter, “What in your opinion is the ugliest word in the English Language?” Mr. Sandburg drew is brow thoughtfully over his face and repeated the phrase, “The ugliest word in the English language.” The reporter and television audience waited. Mr. Sandburg looked away as if searching the room for a word written somewhere on a wall, pursed his lips and almost mumbled, “Ugliest? The ugliest word?” The reporter and millions continued to lean forward. The pause seemed long, but alive and promising. Mr. Sandburg turned back to the reporter. “The ugliest word,” he said, “the ugliest word is [pause] ‘exclusive.’ Into a nest of anticipation, built entirely of restraint, he dropped the word, and years later, in the memory of many, it lies there yet, still vivid, fresh and strong.”

Lyric of the Week (week 10)

Common (remember when he used to go by Common sense?)had the most underrated album of the year. His most acclaimed album to date was resurrection. But I believe that "Be," post crocheted pants, post relationship with Erykah Badu, is truly representative of a what an artist resurrection is. I don't know if it was the melding with his Chicago homeboy Kanye West or what. But, for anyone that believes that rap is dead and those that want to believe that it's not, purchase "Be."

Real People
Artist: Common
From his latest album "Be"

[Intro]
Yeah, yeah, you know how me and 'Ye do

[Verse 1]
Real People walk in the streets, the streets is talkin'
Often it's beef this city never does
People walk and talk in they sleep
Cold sweats and wet dreams
On how to get green our faith is all in a jeep
Black souls raw and they deep
Hypes tryna talk with no teeth
Shorties sayin' ball or retreat
A lesson we all speak at one point or another
Whatchu expect from one who smoke a joint with his mother
Anointed hustlers in a fatherless region
Through the pain wish they know that God was just teachin'
We want decent homes
So dreams we say out loud like speakerphones just to keep em on
It's like a colored song that keep keepin' on
I guess knowin' I'm weak is when I'm really bein' strong
Somehow through the dust I could see the dawn
Like the Bishop Magic Juan, that's why I write freedom songs
For the real people

[Verse 2]
I wonder is the spirits of Bob Marley and Haile Selassie
Watch me as the cops be tryna and pop and lock me
They cocky, plus they mentality is Nazi
The way they treat blacks I wanna snap like paparazzi
We're the children of a better God searchin' for better jobs
We could cop ghetto cars tryin' not to catch a charge
They say the dope game is sour
Now they doin' homework that's when they follow you for hours
Come to your crib and devour all that you work for
Must be more than paper these niggaz hurt for
Through the purple haze I circle days I rhyme that work for pays
Tryna reverse the slave's mind and insert the brave mentality
Heard that it's drama at home
Can a dude break free and still get honored at home
I was told by a chief it's the games nature
When you're glowin' some will love and some will hate ya
It's real people

[Verse 3]
Black men walking wit white girls on they arms
I be mad at em as if I know they moms
Told to go beyond the surface, a person's a person
When we lessen our women our condition seems to worsen
The weary cursin' the sky
Talkin' to themselves givin' the version of why help and hurt in they eye
I live across from it, some of it I do be in
I be showin' niggaz lives
Like UPN
It's real people

Yeah.
For you and yours
Good music
Forever
Yeah
Rock on
We keep on
Uh.. Yeah
Yeah, yeah
The real...

bloggless

Research paper due,
can't spare any writing skills.

What will you think of me?

What will you think of me when I’m gone?

Will you remember me fondly?
or will you remember mostly
my faults and failures?

Will you remember any redeeming qualities?
Will there be a sense of fondness that remains
or an unpleasantness that turns into disdain?

Will you remember me as a giver
or only as a taker?

Will the wrong I’ve done dramatically out weigh the good?

Will you see me in light of your own humanity
or will you see me only in terms of your own expectations?


Will you see me
in antiquity
as a blessing or a curse?

Oh no, don’t get me wrong.
I’m not suffering from delusion.
I know who I am.
I know what I have been.
I am fully aware that I write my own epitaph as I live.
I’m not in doubt about the life that I’ve lived.
And I wrestle with my own questions still.

But this question is for you…..

What will you think of me once I’m gone?

If it's magic......?

I went to church last night and the preacher preached to me. In an aside he talked about self hate versus loving yourself. I wanted to blog about liking myself. Then I was with some people yesterday that can be so unaware of their surroundings and others that I thought about blogging about awareness. Not self-awareness, because most of us have that down pat. But being aware of other’s circumstances, feelings, positions, viewpoints, etc… It pays so much to be attentive to others, even if you don’t act accordingly at least you know and well as one of my favorite cartoons would say “knowing is half the battle.”

But no, my creative flow would not be corralled in that direction. So as I napped and contemplated life my .mp3 library played and wouldn’t you know it Stevie Started talking to me again.

Why won’t Stevie leave me alone? He keeps asking me these dad blasted questions. I can’t answer any of Stevie’s questions, and I know the people that I want to answer them can’t either. And it’s not even Thursday yet.

So….

If it’s magic.
From the double Album Songs in the Key of Life
Stevie Wonder.

If it's magic...

Then why can't it be everlasting
Like the sun that always shines
Like the poets endless rhyme
Like the galaxies in time

If it's pleasing...
Then why can't it be never leaving
Like the day that never fails
Like on seashores there are shells
Like the time that always tells

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's special
Then with it why aren't we as careful
As making sure we dress in style
Posing pictures with a smile
Keeping danger from a child

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's magic...
Why can't we make it everlasting
Like the lifetime of the sun
It will leave no heart undone
For there's enough for everyone

The Abyss

“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” --Friedrich Nietzsche

The truth is, it takes a strong man to look into the abyss and not jump. Whenever I sit on a balcony, I guess because I have so much self-destruction in me, I always feel a notion to jump.

You know how they talk about how some times we are a pay check away from poverty? I think that some times we are a tragic event away from the abyss. But it really takes courage to look into the abyss, stare it down and not accept its invitation.

When we spend time on the fringes of life it seems real easy to find yourself slipping into the abyss.

….I’m sorry, but If I’m Kilgore, do I really want George W. Bush campaigning for me on election eve?… I think Tim Kaine fairs better in Richmond with Mark Warner and Doug Wilder, who is the MAN in Richmond….

It seems that often times we are one small step away from being in the abysmal places of life. One little thing can be the straw that breaks the camels back.

I mean, socially it is easy to sit on the fringes, and have one comment made that pushes you out of a social group. In your family a series of “unfortunate events” can transpire and then one family member can say a word that pushes you completely out of the door to solitude. In school one bad test can be the door to flunking out.

….wait a second, I really shouldn’t blog while watching the news, did you know there are modern day pirates in Somalia? No kidding…..

A misplaced illness, an argument with a loved one, a bad grade, a flat tire, a negative bank account, a misplaced word, a stubbed toe, a disconnected phone call, running out of toilet tissue at an inopportune time… who hasn’t had these things to happen? But when they happen in a combination during one stretch of time, we are lowered closer to the opening of the abyss.

Responsibility, determination, love will pull against the lure … but most of all it is your faith that has to deciding influence to pull you away from the abyss. You’ve gotta believe that you don’t belong there. That when the abyss gazes into to you it finds nothing akin to itself inside of you. That you may only visit, and glance through the window of the abyss. It’s not a place of habitation. Iit isn’t even a nice place to visit. But visit we must. Always keeping in mind it is not a where we belong. And when you are not visiting, be sure to recognize someone who is staring in. Throw them a rope, tie it to something steady and help guide them out. It is the responsibility of all who have made the journey to the edge of the abyss stared in and when the abyss looked back was unable to see it’s own reflection.

Lyric of the week (week 9)

This week, I wasn’t sure what to use as a song. Can you believe that? The person who can think of a lyric for any situation is lyric-less? I know why I was.

And I know why I selected this particular song. One of my good friends Jewel called me so excited about the first song from Stevie Wonder’s new CD. I had already thought about getting it and so her call made me rush to get it. Not saying it isn’t great, and plus I haven’t given it a good run yet. But he’s such a great song writer. Doesn’t matter how I tried, I couldn’t say it without it being another gross understatement. So I had to go back on you and pull this one out. This song has some other significance. It’s the soundtrack for two major events of my life. So I was searching my hard drive for a lyric .. and here is this week’s lyric of the week.

“I never dreamed you leave in summer”
Artist: Stevie Wonder
Album: From the 1971 album “Where I'm Coming From”

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
I thought that you would go and come back home

I thought the cold would leave by summer
But my quiet nights will be spent alone

You said there would be warm love in springtime
That is when you started to be cold

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
But now I found my self all alone

You said then you’d be the life in autumn
Said you be the one to see the way

Oh I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
But now I find my love has gone away

Why didn’t you stay?

Ever wondered what a cat taste like? (Formerly Hello Kitty!)

I got on my buddy for saying she had nothing to blog about. She hasn’t posted in two and a half weeks. I got on her because she told me about her Halloween story. It involved her co-workers, tin-foil lassos, bracelets, viking hats and free burritos. I’m like uh, and you say you don’t have anything to blog about?

Then as I was in search of blog material this week and found myself guilty of the same thing. Leaving out one of the most interesting experiences that I’ve recently had.

Hello kitty.

I was in the first actual in class session of my practical class. The class where you apply what you learn in real world situations. The class is taught(?) or lead by one of our adjunct professors, or as my class mates said in reference to another one, ‘add-junk.’ Our Prof was fielding questions about the few assignments that we are to turn in, because quite naturally the students were concerned about the few assignments that seem to determine their grade. One of the first due was a verbatim. A verbatim is just what it suggest, a word by word account of a meeting. The verbatim outlines the details of the experience, the room, the seating arrangements, and most importantly the non-verbal and attitudinal messages perceived.

So the question was, what is the verbatim?, and he explained the above. And then he went on tell why it was so important.

Prof: “It is going to determine how the rest of your year with this organization will go…Like when I came up here to this class room, I’m used to the door being propped open, never known this door to be closed. So I had to really think about how I was going to deal with you all. What are they having a meeting before my meeting, what’s going on in there?”

His speech flowed as if it were one long sentence. His movements animated so that he seemed to flow back and forth like a willow tree, blowing in the wind.

One of my classmates asked for a date when the verbatim is due.

Prof: “The end of October by the first week in November.”

Student: “Yes, but on what day?”

Prof: “you see, I’m not like your other professors here...”
(Gross Understatement!)

Prof: ”You see I was dropped on my head, my brain was ok, but my skull was fractured. So I’m sitting here in class, and you expect me to trust you? And here you are a woman teaching me and it was a woman that dropped me on my head?”

(The class is silent, maybe all in disbelief, I felt we all were saying a collective ‘huh?’)

Prof: ”So I’m sitting up in the class, and I’m just learning how to spell cat. Seen a cat before, know what a cat looks like. Never ate a cat, wonder what a cat taste like…”

(What?!)

He goes on but the rest was lost on me, I stopped at “wonder what a cat taste like...”

So I immediately type to one of my classmates IM…

[12:32] PM SayYeaah: Wonder what a cat taste like?
[12:33] PM SayYeaah: Dr. Hoabs, does cat taste like Pumpkin pie?
[12:33] PM SayYeaah: I don't know why you asked me that, Girl you know Carl Hoabs ain't never had no pumpkin pie!

But the most interesting part of this story to me was that his wife is his TA (that’s teaching assistant) and she was late. She arrived shortly after the cat story and when she did, he sort of calmed down. He was more relaxed and was more coherent than he had been the whole time.

That’s my story. I don’t think much commentary is needed.

I miss D.C.

As I was home a couple of weeks ago, I thought about how much I miss being there. Richmond is so different than D.C. As I leave D.C. I am adjusting to the real notion that I may never live in the city again. Maybe it’s just the familiarity, maybe I’m just such a big homer. Maybe you feel the same way about your city. But I love my city. And I know there is not another city like it in the world.

I miss DC

But I don’t miss the traffic

I miss the having all of the shopping: Tyson’s I & II, Pentagon City, Potomac Mills, Leesburg corner, Chevy Chase/Friendship Heights, Georgetown.

I don’t miss the crowds in the malls.

I miss seafood at Phillips and The soul food at Daddy Grace’s. I miss crab cakes in general.

I miss being at the center of the free world.

I don’t miss the politicians.

Except that I do miss the first family. I’m talking about Effie, Cora, Chris and Marion, and that soap opera called “the Barry’s.”

I miss Georgia Avenue, Pennsylvania Avenue, U St., and Minnesota Avenue where my childhood barbershop is. And why is DC the only place that you can get chicken wings and Mambo sauce?

I miss riding the subway and seeing all those fine women.

I don’t miss having to stand up and then ride the bus and then waiting for a ride once I’ve ridden the subway.

I miss my home town and the realness of my folks, especially my people in the hood.

I don’t miss the arrogance of the buppies (and Lord knows there is a lot of them)and the yuppies. Nuff said.

I miss DC and it’s streets it’s architecture and it’s familiarity. I don’t miss the tourism, even though it’s the second largest industry at home behind government. Did I say that I don’t miss the traffic?

I miss DC and it’s culture, there is always something going on, always something open, there is always something to do.

I don’t miss how it always seems to be a rack of people wanting to do the same thing that I wanted.

Taking the good with the bad I love my city and there is no place like home.