The memories and thoughts. (september 26)

Recently, because of this paper for the most part, I have been forced to think of some ugly things about my childhood. Things I have tried to forget. Then there are some recent things in my story that I wish I could forget, or at least not think about so much anymore. I think it’s because of what happened to me early on in life that makes my memory so vivid. I was watching “Alexander” Saturday and he said that something was like”… hurt lovers, they forgive but they never forget.” It is something about painful memories, they tend to weigh more, last longer and be more vivid than joyful memories. I’ve been trying ya’ll, really I honestly have. It’s like trying to un-ring a bell.

The memories

The painful memories come rushing into my mind like a flood and they
drown my happiness

my happiness drowns

I try to come up for air
but another wave comes
and suffocates my joy

my joy suffocates

I can’t breathe sometimes
I can’t breathe sometimes
for the memories
for the memories

I can’t breathe sometimes
for the memories

(Dang in the middle of this blog I wrote another OG piece. I was reading Sonia and Nikki last night)

Well anyway I thought I’d let the Lord speak to me. What a novel idea?

Scriptures can become stagnant and cliché if you don’t let them speak to you afresh. Here’s hoping that we can.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:4-8