Tear Jerker (September 29)

I started to be vindictive today. To use today’s post to get back at two people who tried to tear me down. Tried to ruin my life, and ostracize me. But I decided not to, on two accounts:

1. They pushed me towards my blessing! (SAY YEAH! hah.)
2. I have too many great people in my life to highlight and focus on the few negatives.
   

So yesterday I went back to my home (and to my community) and spent some time with two people that I have known all of my natural life. One of their best friends died this week. And it was funny, not a lot of people in the community realized the depth of their relationship. I was let in on it through choir rehearsal. Yes, choir rehearsal. I found out how tight these three women were by listening to stories about them in choir rehearsal while I was in choir rehearsal. They were so close that they were like family. Although it’s not so apparent to the eye, and their relationships aren’t all buddy buddy in public, they have known each other maybe two of my life times or longer. Well one of them died this week, and I had to go back to do some work there and I knew that I would have an opportunity to sit and listen to their story; and by listening hopfully offer comfort.

And today, I couldn’t help but think about my great friends, true friendship and life long friendship. Here’s an ode to one in particular.

Bird.
Bird and I met like 7 or 8 years ago. We have become close friends. It’s funny some people are jealous of your bird. They are jealous of what you and I share. You see they’ve shared things with me but none have been able to cultivate what we have. But what they don’t understand is how we’ve worked on this for years. For one I haven’t known many people as long as I’ve known you. And we have spent quality time together. I know that I’m not the only one and I’m not jealous that you are about as good a friend to other people as you are too me. One thing that has helped us to make our friendship work is that we’ve kept it just that, a friendship. That Is rare for men and women to remain just friends like we have. We never crossed that line. The closest we’ve gone to crossing the line was you putting a hand on my thigh. Remember that day? I know you do, hilarious. But we’ve been good at remaining “Just friends.”

John Witherspoon in “Boomerang”…Smacking on his food as he eats ”Just friends huh?” ….Halle Berry and David Allan Grier in unison “Just friends!” Back to John Witherspoon again...“So Marcus… I here a girl down at the office has got you….”

I digress.

So yeah, we’ve been there for each other. Recently, I don’t know how I would’ve made it through, heck this whole year, you’ve been there for me like nobody else has or could be. You know me, and you weren’t in the community and you weren't judgmental. And even though you weren’t judgmental at the same time you didn’t let me off of the hook because we were friends. And a real friend will call you out when you’re wrong and stand there and take your anger and frustration for being called out. But if anybody needs to be called out you are the one. And that’s needed, especially for people with a Myers brig like mine. You help keep me straight. We have been through our ups and downs. Times when we weren’t talking to each other, times when we said stuff that hurt each other. But we have always made it over. Friendship always prevailed.

I think it is something about knowing somebody for who they are and agreeing to be ok with who they are in the core of their being.

Remember the time that we went swimming at your apartment complex and nuestros amigos took my nikes and my socks?

Or what about the time when we went to the Waffle shop and came out to see our cars being toed away from the blockbuster parking lot?

Or that time you were trying to remember that rap song, “You know, that Eric boy, the one that did that song with Marvin Gaye… what’s his name Eric, Eric B?” Me: ‘Bird, that was Erick Sermon.’

Let me stop there, and I just skimmed the surface. The point is I appreciate you. And I know that you will be my life long friend. There were sometimes when I thought that we were going to make it, but our friendship has proven its resiliency (that’s especially for you, you see bird doesn’t think that’s a word.) So now anybody that’s going to be in my life will have to get used to you being there. Thank you for being a friend, travel down the road and back again, you heart is true…you’re pal and a confidante, and if you threw a party, and invited everyone you know, you would see… well maybe not… but thank you for being a friend.

This blog is getting long, but let me share the card Bird gave me when I left to come to Richmond.

“Things are hard right now, but…

Trust in

yourself

to make a new beginning.
Sometimes life leads you

in a new direction.
And even when you don’t feel prepared,
or when you don’t want to change,
you are force to start over
Life is like that…there are no guarantees.
It makes you feel scared
or anxious or sad.

But after you’ve shed your
last tear –
just when you think everything
is out of your hands-
you take a deep breath
and finally realize that
you have complete control.

Survival is about reclaiming your “self”
It is about learning to love who you are.
It is about making wise choices,
setting goals,
and finding out what really
makes you happy.
It is about rediscovering those things
you always wanted to do.

Happiness is something that Has to come from within.
Nobody can provide it for you.

You are a beautiful, caring, wonderful person.
You are worthy of a all good things.
I know life is hard right now,
But please know that
I am always here for you.

This is your new beginning!
I can’t wait to see what you do!

- Claudia McCants

(*Reality TV show update, the apprentice", looks like another one bites the dusk, still on but it doesn't look good for the sister. Up, new update, whew, she made it*)