I know I'll probably regret it...(September 17)

And I say that because I have some great friends. And this blog admittedly has an angry tone, what was that quote about doing stuff with temper, always coming out wrong? But what’s funny about my friends is, in a way they are almost all too much like me. Introverted. They will go in shells and hide for hours, days and weeks.

But this is too much, it’s my birthday, I came back up to DC, after a long week of school and a disappointing one at work to celebrate my birthday with them. And they are almost all AWOL. It’s funny the closest ones are all known to do this, not answer the phone or return calls when they don’t want to be bothered. So here I am on my birthday weekend, thinking I was going to be celebrating at nine o’clock on Saturday. But no, what am I doing? Blogging. (But you know that's not too bad.)

What kind of stuff is that? I know I know, I’ve done it before. I’ve cut my cell phone off (well with a little help from Nextel) for weeks on my friends. I’ve actually hermit-ed myself for a total week not telling anyone I was ok. I can go turtle on them too. But I’m venting, and it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want to.

Yet and still, I think for the most part I’m a very dependable friend, and I’m not talking about them all. Love (past) interests are not included in this diatribe for obvious reasons. And of course Key is available, but I’d be bad company at this point cause I’m pissed. Maybe I wore them out with the surprise party that they either all worked on together or all showed up for. I could understand that. Maybe I am more absent than I thought. At least one of them called and apologized for not being available. But don’t tell someone you’re going to take them out for their birthday and then dip out without saying anything. Call and say I’m too tired, or I have too many other things going on. I drove 3 hours for this? I don’t care if it is your Mother’s birthday or if you were volunteering for Katrina victims! (Yeah I know I’m a selfish bunghole.) But for real they should've at least called and told me that themselves or at least answered the phone when I called. Any ways, I’m sitting here thinking about doing some neurotic stuff, some stuff that I know I shouldn’t do, all because my plans for this weekend have fallen apart.

I’m writing with a twinge (albeit small) of humor and maybe it won’t sting as much. And if this doesn’t apply to you then it doesn’t. But as I have been saying a lot since I’ve been writing this cathartic A_ _ blog, “if you wear a size nine” then it ain’t my fault.

So I hope they don’t read this, but in a way, I’m like that Lil. John Song with Krayzie Bone and Mystical… you know the one that they showed a clip from on the Dave Chappelle Show? So, the greatest lyricist of all time is going to help me tonight in expressing myself.

I’m just pissed I’m sittin in the house. I could’ve gone to my niece’s birthday party. (The only reason I'm not is because they said they wanted to hang out with me for my birthday weeks ago, and my neice's birthday party came up on thursday. I figured I've already committed to spending saturday with my friends it's not fair to break that committment) What's that thing they say about blood and water? And just think, I thought I wasn’t going to have anything to blog about this weekend..

I’m going to take you back 80’s style, even if you are mad at me you’re going to have to admit that this song was tight

(*Side note, my friends haven’t stabbed me in my back. They are certainly not jealous of me, or envious. *).

Friends
Artist: Jody Watley with Eric B. & Rakim
From her 1989 release You wanna dance with me

Have you ever been stabbed in the back
By someone you thought was really cool
Did they steal your heart or was it money
Or was it lies they told

Stran-gers just disguised as your friends
Never again cause now you know

Chorus:

That friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

Smiles they hide behind
Never know what’s on their mind
Could be true deception
Jealousy and envy reign
They never want to see you get ahead
They just hold you back

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, oh, oh

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

(RAKIM)
Friends are hard to find, so be careful
You could find an inch or mile if I pay you
But some ain’t that bad, but one might back stab
To get the fake tips of what one might have
Bite the hand that feeds you, leave the people who need you
For those who hold you back and mislead you
To be a leader, don’t get lead on unleaded
The wrong direction, a dead ends next then
Heed the detour; life’s like a seesaw
The ups and downs, and I’ll bet there'll be more
Potholes and obstacles in our path, that's righteous
At times you need a hand to fight this
Way of life, straighten up, take the door to the replace it
And don’t you act two-faced
Cause jealousy and envy, and you still act friendly
You could find the end and pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

(Rakim)
You used to me kiss me, tell me you missed me
But now you try to glaze me, play me and diss me
I'm wide-awake, ready to break, so we’d argue
What happened to the kisses, and my "how are you’s?"
Forgot about the times when I rhymed when I bathed you
Dreams was the only little things that I gave you
You still ain’t thankful, you're still complainin
Used to be a quiet storm, but now it’s rainin
Harder than ever, I’m thinkin whether
If we should be friends, let it end, is it better
To forget or remember, your body’s tender
The rhymes that I send her, makes her surrender
The feeling of capture, caught in a rapture
No woman can match ya, so when I’m lookin at ya
Paint a perfect picture so you can remember me
But you can find the end if you pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, oh, oh

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin bout your friends

Friends will let you down
Friends won't be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends